Only in French do you, a grown-up, ask a child, “What age are you?” In English and German you ask, “How old are you?” Any self-respecting child would reply, “I am not old at all. YOU are old!” One wonders by what logic the English and Germans got it so wrong.
True, the concept of oldness is a bit confusing. Surely it is better to be young than to be old. Young is good; old is bad. Therefore, the English and the Germans are definitely rude when they ask a child, “How old are you?” They might as well ask “How rotten are you?”
However, it is not as simple as that. There are many aspects of oldness we treasure. We dig up antiquities, we go to museums, we are angry with developers who tear down old buildings, we love our old slippers, we drink aged whiskey if we can afford it, some of us even climb pyramids.
We learn from Aging and the Aged in Medieval Europe by Michael M. Sheehan that in the eighth century poem Beowolf oldness is a virtue, like nobility, esteem and power. “Old” begins to slide in the Renaissance. In Shakespeare to be called “old” is an insult – “old and foul,” “old and wicked,” “old and deformed.” And today, too, to be called an “old fart” is not exactly a compliment. There is rampant agism. Many of us are forced to retire too early.
But there is hope for the old. As the population ages, the old become a political factor to be reckoned with. And a target for advertisers. There is even some evidence that people are being nicer to the old than they used to be. The incidence of people offering their seat to the old in buses and on the subway is definitely on the increase.
Which brings us to the question of respect. Should the old be treated with more respect? It’s hard to see on what grounds. Because of their alleged wisdom? That is hard to prove. In China they think so, thanks to Confucius, but this is the New World. The old have had more time to learn things, but also to forget them. Disabilities should of course be treated with consideration, and disabilities are obviously more common among the aged but that is another matter. Would a candidate running for election dare to argue that you should vote for him because he is old? The question, as the French say, answers itself.
Shakespeare got it right. It is not a recommendation to be old. Therefore, we should stop asking children how old they are.
Eric Koch’s book, The Weimar Triangle, is available at Indigo-Chapters and in your local bookstore. 
For every generalization there is an equal and opposite generalization including this one. Contrary to “how young are you?”, young people at least until they become teens are proud of their ages. Those who are not so shy that they remain silent will say their numbers with gusto. HYAY devalues age and so flouts the well known historical truth that most societies venerate the “elders” and sometimes even take their opinions seriously. Gray power is no myth.
Whether modern state economies can continue to cosset the aged with massive subsidies and tax exemptions is another question altogether. Fear of economic disaster may eventually defang gray power and reverse the veneration of elders.
But all this is irrelevant to the premise of HYAY:
youth’s over-riding ambition is to GROW UP.
Thank you.
An excellent comment.
You are perfectly right – the sixth birthday will solve all problems of a five year-old.