Due to climate change, the Arctic is warming up. In a few years’ time we will have the chance to invite large numbers of people to make the vast spaces of the North bloom. There will be no shortage of applicants. Millions in coastal areas all over the world will have lost their homes thanks to the same climate change.
Our politicians and bureaucrats will establish the usual categories, carefully avoiding any unpleasant profiling.
It will be an immeasurable service to Humanity – and entirely in keeping with Canada’s humanitarian traditions – if, this time, the right language is devised to issue a special invitation to the stupid of the world.
“Intelligence-challenged” will be one suggestion.
The General Assembly of the U.N. will pass a unanimous resolution thanking the Canadian government for absorbing the stupid in their member states, thereby making government infinitely easier. The Americans will be especially grateful since they will at last be able to bring their Constitution up to date.
Testing labs will be established to keep out intelligent infiltrators. Since the testing will be done by the stupid there will be interminable delays. Once these difficulties are ironed out, the stupid will govern themselves. They will elect the most stupid of them king. His subjects will happily do what he tells them. Making the Arctic bloom takes a lot of work so people won’t have time to quarrel. Anyhow, they won’t have the talent. They despise the intelligent who, facing similar problems, can’t agree on anything.
The stupid media will only report good news.
Soon barriers will have to limit admission to this happy territory.
Never will Canada’s prestige be higher.